Dear Cat
I am starting to get a bit paranoid as every time I enter a room you walkout all nonchalantly as if I was a death eater from Harry Potter. Perhaps it was because I stood on your paw 3 weeks ago I'm not really sure or that I 'm constantly telling you off for hogging the duvet.
Perhaps it's the cat food you were all excited and very purry when I brought 2 boxes on special offer of brand X oh how happy you were chirping away in excitement at the first box . This was until the second box when a switch was flicked and you no longer liked that food , currently it's a Mexican stand off at feeding times.
I will not bend , you will not win.