Padstow In The Rain

It’s wetter than a Fisherman’s haddock out there and you can guarantee the moment I leave my holiday there will be glorious sunshine.But rain doesn’t matter as long as you’ve family or something that makes you happy be it books tea or that bough of a branch that dangles down.

Rain gives us another dimension to life ! and as this is the year of the obvious staycation then I don’t mind a bit of rain as long as I get some sunshine at some point.

Lobster Pots And Fishermen in Boscastle

Lobster Pots and fishermen in Boscastle

Come to Boscastle and you’ll see the sky maybe it’s Cornwall and it has license to rain , relaxation doesn’t have a price.Lobster pots and fishermen is all I see a time old job steeped in history.I diverted the journey to the shop for teabags to stop and stare at Lobster pots and fishermen.

The magical thing about Cornwall is the ability to let you relax as soon as you get there .I’m half Cornish myself with my family on my dads side going back over 500 years in Cornwall.Cornwall is a state of mind and a state of the heart.

A Reason To Enter Competitions

I was lucky enough to win some towels fro, Allure Bath fashion which has saved me from buying some and in these strange economic times everything helps.I do love comping and I’ve written before about the friendships it has bought me and some great experiences from going to the Paralympic opening ceremony to taking my late cat on holiday .

And you can't put a price on friendship ( card courtesy of Jane Willis ) 

you can visit Janes,s blog here

and without that friendship I wouldn't have ended up entering other competitions from winning cash for my school where I used to work to holidays in Berlin and Amsterdam.And then there is the towels winning such items as I mentioned helps with saving the pennies are those are the pennies which I can put towards essential bills , I truly believe that comping helps in the great circle of life ( but with out the lions and catchy soundtrack sung by Elton John)

And I don't enter everything under the son although once some horse feed did turn up and I am allergic to horses ( I have ended up in hospital because of them due to my asthma )

And going back to the friendship aspect it is very important to me to keep those online friendships going and I have met many people along the way often in real life too like the lovely Jane I went to the opening ceremony of the Paralympics in 2012 . We nearly got ushered in Boris Johnson as VIPS but then they cottoned on to us and we went through the commoners entrance.

Just Simply The Cat

 The house is quiet almost nothing stirs but for the cat

 that is black and who slinks right back 

to the spot I have just been sitting contemplating the cat 

who contemplates me as I contemplate the silence 

broken by a meow

Two Years Since My Autism Diagnosis

 It is two years since my Autism diagnosis and nothing has changed other than I am still the same person , I don't expect anything from my diagnosis except that it is more me .I am still the same person I was before the diagnosis and the diagnosis gives me validity to how I feel.You don't have to get a diagnosis for your autism to be accepted but that is a whole different debate.I think being diagnosed now especially when you're younger does make things easier in accessing services and education but still there is a gaping hole within this sector.If I had being diagnosed when I was lounger then I think I would have ended up at a special school which would not have been suitable for my needs.Where as what I needed was helping in actually mapping out my ideas etc because I can have all the knowledge and know all the detail but not necessarily know how to commit that idea to paper.

When I was younger and life was in the moment I clung to those feeling s and moments of friendship and couldn't understand why I was shunned before I had even spoken it was if I had given off some sort of vibe .Children are awfully perceptive and they will be point blank with you most of the time and myself being left out was just one of those things that shouldn't have been.I would be punched and kicked and called names and there was nothing anyone could do , it was very much like Lord of Flies at school and though there were pockets of niceness school was pure hell.Not even my intelligence could save me as I moved to the higher set but maths was a no go as I can not handle numbers.You learn to play the game and you mask and you try to blend it but you just don't get it because you give social signals that people just don't understand.

It goes like this I can take and talk and think I am explaining myself but it is like I am talking say a multitude of languages all at once with people saying 

"What are you trying to say ?"

Interaction is both my nemesis and my want it is quite frankly like magnets repelling .

This is why I loved acting as a child and an adult I could be something I was nod and no one said otherwise but sadly I couldn't take it at GCSE as moving to a higher set it clashed with my GCSE choice.

Camouflaging is a way of autistics coping with the world but it comes with a great social cost, including heavy exhaustion and extreme anxiety.And one of the costs of this is not working which I did for many years as SEN teaching assistant amongst working in the cvil service but again in many of my jobs it was the situation where like the wounded gazelle I was hounded out of the job because I just didn't fit the social click.

And I was just about reclaiming my way in the world with helloing as a volunteer in a school and going to choir then who would have guessed a pandemic struck.