The Writers Block And That Sea Of White

When you start writing a blog post you do so to eradicate the blank page that stares before you in so many different ways and the words they either come easily or taking a little more coxing out. And the whiteness like a blanket of snow slowly gets covered as you type or write away or scribe I like the word scribe it is so intelligent and full of history.And with words you can damn well do what you like and I am not short of words though of late my mind has been stuck on the traffic light of society and it just remembering to pause push that button and cross the road. As I write I see the white just peeking out in between the spaces ; the words they are cradled by the white. I am trying not to be intimated by the the sea of white for it only a wonder not yet told and though it is as I have said a sea of white it is also a sea of opportunity.

And as you have written the first paragraph then simply you must soldier on and write more sentences because without your sheer resilientance the rest of your words won't have any support you must support the precious words that you lay down upon the page. These words that you write you might not think that that make sense you might think that you are furtling around in the dark with no chance of a lighthouse beam to guide your ship of words to safety, keep on going and be sure of yourself.

I am writing because I want to not because I have to , you can't force the words you just have to let him come to you and being Autistic my words can get a bit back to front to at times and what I think I am saying or writing isn't want is on the page or I have actually spoken. I need that little bit of extra processing time like a super computer on a tea break and then when bam I am there fast as lightning.

As I write how I feel gets a little easier and the Autism/Aspergers is pushed aside not defining me but just part of my everyday life, when you have yourself explained it takes a while to feel your feet again ( and speaking of feet I haven't put my socks on yet and it is rather chilly out there and I have a cold ) .

There above us is magnificence in those words there is silent bravery there is heart there is soul there is me.

Tea any one ?

The Slowness Of Time

It’s 5 Am 

You can’t sleep 

You try to get back to sleep but you can’t 

You finish the internet 

It’s now 5.01 

You get up to find even your cat is asleep 

It’s not even 5.05 

You drink tea and more tea 

The cat wakes up and you do edgy band photos with it 

It’s now only 5.10 

Time is very very slow early in the morning!

And this is good because it’s a good time to reflect and one of the biggest kindnesses you can have is being kind to yourself.You have got to try and love yourself and not left the self doubt win life is really honestly too short to let it drag yourself down.

Friendship Is A Lot Like Socks

 Friendship is a lot like socks ,the oddest of pairings will and does work.

Why should some socks (friends) not be paired ? 

If we're were the odd one and you didn't get to get that special friend or friends ; then you'd feel quite left out. If you think someone is aloft, weird, unique and not running with the crowd who is to say that they couldn't be the friend that you didn't think you needed.

Opposites attract.

Give an odd pairing a chance.

It could be the new joyful lease of life that they need.

Say Hi to someone

The simplest kindnesses are everlasting.

Open that door for someone.

Thank people.

Reach out and be the the kindness in someones life just letting someone know you're there really helps.

It is anti bullying this week and I better in my life than I have been in a long time , I was bullied as a child because I was different I have Autism but no one knew it then . Children could see and sense I was different and I was bullied without bullied and hard as I tried it got worse I spoke to my parents and teachers and people did their best but my bullying followed me from school to school.With Autism it is really hard to articulate yourself and when your are bullied you end up in a tailspin and bullying can leave you without a lifetime of hurt.

I struggled to make friends because of my issues with social communication and when sometimes people did decide to be my friend it was to use me , they said horrible things behind my back . They hid my glasses then suddenly found them to get praise from the teacher , they were in a word manipulative.

Which each new school there came the hope that everything would be ok and everything would be different , I didn't understand how you were supposed to be . I didn't understand how you were meant to make friends and people just thought I was weird.I hate the name calling ,the silent treatment , the spreading of rumours like you had sometime contagious, the polls to see if people like me the physical bullying , the bullying happened outside school as well. I was beat up on the way to my piano and harpsichord lesson people could just sense and see I was different like a injured zebra I suppose.

Being Autistic I take things literally and you believe what is being said to you , someone is telling you are stupid and worthless and no one ones to be your friend then being autistic why would someone tell me something that wasn't true.


My school reports are sad there is no getting away from it and it screams that schools should have seen that was something up with my learning and done more to help me but if I can help people recognise the struggles of others then I am doing good !

I was the little girl who couldn't ballet it was just dancey and pink i was the child who loved and was lost in their thoughts in a museum.

Life continued like this well into my adulthood as being in work it was like school but with a whole new list of social rules that you had to figure out and as a result I drifted in and out of jobs .


You are not the child who cried buckets when they were bullied because you can not express your emotions this is why it is so important to have perpetual kindness and I know life isn't play sailing and the ripples of emotion cause various problems but talking and reporting is a must.

Also tomorrow is World Kindness day but let us all be kind each and every day and not just for the day , kindness should be natural and part of our being.

BetterYou Magnesium Sleep Mineral Lotion

Review


I was kind enough to be send for review some BetterYou Magnesium Sleep mineral lotion for me to try and I was really excited as the older you get the more you struggle to sleep and whilst I refuse to be a number age wise ! I do have autism and this messes up my sleep no end and I welcome anything to try and get some sleep.I struggle to fall asleep and sometimes find myself waking every few hours.So when this arrived I was hoping it would be my miracle saviour cure.

The mineral lotion is rich in magnesium chloride, lavender and camomile, designed to relax your tired muscles, slow sensory activity and quieten the mind to promote a restful night's sleep.I love that the formula is free from paragons ,synthetic fragrances and colour , it also contains 100 percent natural ingredients ,making it gentle enough to be used during pregnancy ,BetterYou is also against animal testing.Each 5ml dose will provide you with an impressive 150mg of magnesium which is 40 percent of the recommended daily allowance.

Magnesium is a natural sleep aid which has a calming effect on the body ,relaxing muscles and easing the tensions of the day away.
Application is made easy by a pump bottle, you simply twist the top to unlock and push the pump down to release the lotion.The lotion is smooth and easy to apply it is just the right consistency.It is quickly absorbed into the skin it is highly moisturising, and my skin was left feeling soft and nourished. I am a huge fan of lavender though I don't like it to be overpowering which this is not. Lavender is well known for promoting relaxation and sleep.

For best results,BetterYou recommend applying after showering or bating, up to 30 minutes before sleep , it is now part of a my bedtime routine and I look forward to sleep more know rather than fearing it.The lotion is suitable for use all over the body and BetterYou suggest focusing on area such as the neck shoulders and legs.

BetterYou's new Magnesium Sleep Lotion is available now, priced at £9.95

My Blog My Identity

This is me the person behind the blog , the beating heart warts and all , I share in order to help myself and other people.Whilst on twitter my picture is of my late cat that’s because of my blog so it’s all emcompassing.

So cat photo on twitter or not it really doesn’t matter it’s really at the end of the day words that matter.My words are very important and I struggle to get them out at times and plain and simply it’s my autism .I don’t mind the disability not in the slightest it has list me friends who didn’t understand me.This was before the official diagnosis.

My blog is very special to me it’s a testament to my survival and that’s what I feel and having a diagnosis is part of my personality.I am now pulling all parts of my life together and sorting out things that should have been sorted in my childhood.

I’m am learning to roll with my brain and jumping about in a conversation or my writings is just part of me in this world.

I put my heart into everything I’m very much heart thoughts and deeds , I go above and beyond .I’m no matyr but I’m just a genuine human to the core , I help where I can and I love a happy conclusion though it’s not always so.

I seek my minds eye it soothes my heart and head and soul, I’m slowly knitting myself back together but I can’t actually knit.A cup of tea steers me through the day