Learning Just To Be You

It takes an awful long time to be you and I think now is the time to savour every little moment and every little cup of tea and though I may still worry on occasion it is really not trying to sweat the small stuff. To be invigorated in the day then stuff has to go right and I think fingers crossed it is ,there are situations and people I can not change and in the case of people you really can't change them a leopard doesn't change it spots ( except maybe on a rare rare occasion )


I am not a bad writer and I feel pained sometimes when I write though I am intelligent my spelling is a smidgen Machiavellian at times ( so said my school reports but not as eloquently as I have scripted these words just ).

All my senses scream "you shouldn't do this you shouldn't blog , you blog no sense and are as random as a T-REX at a disco doing YMCA."

Remember 

You can. You Will.You Are

Affirmation of the self is a real turning point in life.


If you don't talk then life can get so much harder and talking is the key but talking is hard for many an anxious person like myself.But talk I do and though at times it is ten to the dozen I slowly can gain my thought my it does take a lot of mental energy.


And just something sparked my interest and I mean my real interest in reading again and that was a book by Andy Weir called Artemis and oh my I am so excited and I haven't even purchased a copy yet.So you see Dear reader if I may indeed be so presumptuous that you are indeed still reading at this juncture!

So My mum actually got to the seaside this week with the salvation Army I believe and she happened to sit next to my very first Infant school teacher so I think from the age of 4 you best live a pours life.Now 2 weeks ago we had to go and sort out 2 rooms of my mums ground floor flat and it was in a state but sometimes you get overwhelmed  by stuff and can't see the wood for the tees and I think  in helping her it will be the catalyst to help herself .She was committed back in March/April and it has been a hard time full of turmoil she has only recently been released ( I am not sure what else to call it released sounds so draconian ) She hopefully will be getting some care support but still I have to help her as this is what you do for your parent.Also my husband had a funny turn in May when she was suddenly diagnosed with Diabetes type 1 and it was like hell had broke lose.But we are getting back on our feet and though I have been off with anxiety I can see a glimmer of hope to be cheerful and that is what I am holding onto.And plus the teen is back from university so that helps to coordinate me in some ways.

Linking up with Reasons to be cheerful 

Do You Really Need to Splash The Cash On An Airport Lounge ?

Do you really need to splash out on on an expensive airport lounge nowadays or is it better to save your cash for Duty Free ?  I thought about going for an airport lounge for all us ( three adults when we go to Florence soon ) we will be flying from Gatwick Airport and it is a better of a devil to get to motorway wise so this is why we stop over night the day before. This time we are going direct with Holiday Inn they  have a Stay and Park package which includes breakfast and to get cashback I always go through Topcashback ( affiliate link )

Going through Topcashback you can get cash back on many goods and services you buy like for us soon it will be Holiday Inn. With Holiday Inn  you can check in from 2pm and then check out is 12pm and with a flight that leaves at around 4.20 we really don't need to book at airport lounge  at around £32 per person. The only discount I could find brought it down to £86 and for the 3 of us that still seemed very expensive and so I have decided against it.

The Holiday Inn stay and parking for 8 days was £144 and that includes breakfast , holiday inn is a brand I know and trust and I have never had a bad experience staying with them and nothing is to much for them when we stay with them and they are very attentive in their service.And when you join Holiday Inn you can save up your points for treats and stays so as they say points mean prizes.

Gatwick Airport you can sign up for MyGatwick where you can keep track of your flight and get various offers like 20 % off Gatwick Security which I have gone for this for us three at the cost of £12 .

Now if Mr T wants he can get a lanyard to make people aware of his hidden diabetes of type 1 diabetes. Gatwick is the second busiest airport in the world and I know that Mr T will want us to be organised and not running for the place like the last time we went to Venice.Planning is key so your dream holiday doesn't turn into the holiday from hell and the memory of the holiday is actually a missed flight luckily we didn't miss our flight to Venice but it was close oh so close !

Gatwick is often overlooked as an airport as it is on the wrong side of London for many but with a bit of planning as mentioned your flight form there can be an enjoyable experience.Getting to Gatwick is no trouble at all from as the trains are direct fast and relatively inexpensive, and if you are flying from North terminal then a free tram ride will take you there from South terminal.

There are plenty of places to eat round Gatwick you could grab something before you get security just make sure you don't take that full water bottle though with you. Or eat in one of the many food establishments in Gatwick there are some vouchers offering money off in the MyGatwick app.

So crank up your play list , get your fill of books and settle in ready for your flight and in no time at all you'll be jetting off for many a adventure.

The World Is Incomplete Without A Cup Of Tea

“ The world is incomplete without a cup of tea “

Some things just go together don’t they like mornings and tea, afternoons and tea in fact tea all the time.It is the same with cats and boxes they inexplicably go together.

“The continuation of time depends on the stirring of tea “

This is indeed true and I know it’s hotter than hell out there but we still need our very British cup of tea. Our nice safe dependable cup of tea that doesn’t care about the politics of the world.

I think my cat Jack would make a very good Brexit secretary after all he’s heard the spot is vacant . He will be operating a free come and sit in a box policy for all.

I mean a cat in charge of Brexit makes complete and utter sense , it’s not like it is going to make the situation any worse.I think a cat would be rather good in politics I know Jack would agree.

My late cat Rollie was heavily into politics in an evil way which was quite fitting really.

Losing People's Expectations

I have found it has taken a long time to lose the expectations that people have of yourself and I am not talking about the polite rules and regulations of polite society . I am talking about if you're off with with a long term condition people only see what they want to see and no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Society is both kind and judgemental and that sucks big really at times it really does and I know this  myself only to well.

I share my anxiety because I want to and not because I am expected to we don't live in a Victorian society where we are seen and not heard , we very much need to be seen and heard in today's society.I  am finding myself again and I like this and I am slowly back into my world of photography and that is what grounds me as well as family.

I wrote as I do a status on my facebook as I do for me and my statement to the world of my reality

"Yesterday was taking my mother out for lunch in the wilds of Bedfordshire. Then back to her ground floor flat to help sort it out a lot dust cobwebs etc everywhere and so much much glitter ( only 2 rooms but over 2 hours ) What YOU don't see when you are caring for people of Bi polar ( other conditions etc ) is that they sometimes can't help themselves and need to see the wood for the trees. They (me , you etc etc )
have to be enabled empowered etc.

We are like dominoes all standing behind each other but we need to dominoes as we don't want to be the last one falling down.

Another thing is the inadequate care in the home system, 3 changes of carer and not a thing done to help my mum. Third one arrives today and maybe just maybe they will do stuff to help her and in doing so help me.

SO you see while you ask if I Am getting better the long of the short of it is yes and please please DON"T continually ask me ( as if it is as simple as buying a pint of milk )if I am better in the sense that by the click of my fingers that it can be solved like that.

I am me and that is that I react to situations in my own way.

The ones that matter matter and the ones that don't don't.

PS I dislike Glitter ...

This is not a judgement on anyone or anything and I do what can do to help other people.

My rules my recovery so there."

You see when I am hurt it takes not hours not week but literally months to get over it and I may take it to heart but I suspect people aim your weakness , humans are vindictive at times and other times it is  not meant and people really don't think about what they are saying.

I hope I have conveyed as eloquently as I can that I am on my way and I will never stop sharing how I feel or my pictures either.

I am strong because I fight back every time.

Celebrating The English Garden

There is nothing finer than an English garden and I’m loosely on the edge of the countryside.And when you said the fruits of the hard work you and your husband have put in.Being visited by a Dragonfly is very magical indeed and the highlight of my gardening week. And I’m pretty sure that I have never seen a Dragon Fly in my garden before , it makes such a difference to your well being having a nice comfortable space in which to relax. We have done more in the garden that ever before this year and have being do so on a budget where possible and next year I hope to grow my own veg.

We endeavour to be the best in our lives and there is no reason why our gardens should be any difference and I love my garden it is a tranquil oasis.I have tadpoles in my wildlife pond and I am sure they are mildly teenagers as they are not shifting from their environment , I thought by now they would be hopping to freedom!

And how brilliant are gardens , honestly our family National Trust membership is worth its weight in Gold for the magnificent of their Gardens alone.

An amazing tea pot at Beningborough Hall.




I really do love Gardens and one day I’ll get back to the Chelsea flower show as I haven’t been since I was a child.Actually I would like to go to any garden show and probably come back the poorer.We have been using weed surpressant in the garden and it has a blessing in controlling the weeds. We craft our gardens like we are waving a wand and we create a magical landscape.

As I have mentioned before the garden has been a saving grace for my husband since his diabetes.My husband has taken great joy in creating the garden as it is today.And we will continue crafting the garden as it is a focus as we have both been a a lot recently and a combination of troubles have clashed making it very difficult for us.But hopefully now things will be on the up and we can get back to a normal or near normal existence.

I would love a ornamental focus in the garden and I have to say that I found some very scary looking examples on eBay not the quality of the stone etc but how the actual ornament looked!