Life After A Breakdown

Life After A Breakdown

“3 years since my breakdown .

I’ve got this .

I’m surviving .

I survived .”

These are the words I posted one morning recently as it 3 years since I had my breakdown , and I never really thought about much I just posted it .

Posting my thoughts and feelings , worry and what nots helps keep me in check. 3 years ago I feel apart from one thing and another and the final nail in my emotional coffin was the breakdown around a blogging conference .

The blogging conference isn’t to blame there were many work, home and external factors at play. Not everyone understood or had empathy which is a shame as it seemed one rule for one and one rule for another , I had those saying I was playing the victim but I wasn’t .

No matter I had to battle through , I didn’t get on my CBT counsellor and that’s not to say it doesn’t work as I’ve seen it work well for others . I don’t take tablets and again that’s my choice and I know many who do and are fine with it .

What I’ve found useful is documenting how I feel as I mentioned in the first paragraph, and I’ve had so much love and support its unbelievable I hadn’t though how much I was appreciated or how my words resonated with others who were suffering or people they knew.

That’s not to say I won’t have my down time as an habitual over thinker I’m really my own worse enemy at times . I do feel like I’m staring into a hole about to fall in but at other times I choose to step over that hole so that in my mind is a win.

I see my words as a cathartic journey with its ups and downs there are more ups than down and it is also a case of recognising what triggers me and either avoiding it or seeking help from those around me.

I always say to know me is to like me and if I have to constantly explain myself then you really don’t get me as I get very flustered in public situations.

I say if you feel you’re suffering from depression talk to people on-line and in real life you’ll find organisations like MIND and The Blurt Foundation. See your doctor or who ever you need to feel like yourself again .

Not saying it’s easy but

“The moment I stopped living up to everyone else’s expectations. 

I lived up to my own .”

Treat yourself like a camera and just adjust the focus , let the negative develop into a beautiful picture .

I’m not saying I’ve all the answers but this is me 3 years on .

I survived .

I previously wrote this a guest post and the words still ring true , I've developed a little of a teflon attitude but at times I do get chinks in my armour but my friends are like little lifts in my soul 

Why I choose Rome For The Family Holiday

Rome the eternal city.

It's somewhere we've always wanted to visit as a family and in particular I love the film Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. To me watching that film from when I was young I was not only captivated by the style and elegance of the actors but taken back also by the majesty of the city. They say Rome wasn't built in a day and I know we will only scratch the surface of this city but we will return . You have I believe to return to the city if you throw a coin in the ... fountain.

We've opted to stop in the Vatican and we will have views of the Basilica from our hotel , Rome is so a magical and romantic place we just can't wait to visit as a family , we've been conditioning ourselves in this heat !! The Vatican City gets over 17,000 visitors a day so I'm glad we've booked ahead to visit the Vatican and Sistine Chapel including lunch ( not alas with the Pope )

 

Booking ahead for the Vatican means we get to skip the long lines that are always around the Vatican and literally we will be able to roll out our hotel to the Vatican.

 

With so much opulence and grandeur in the Vatican I know I'm going to fall in love with the city and it will be such a wrench to leave.The Vatican actually only cover half a square kilometre but it looks every inch the religious superpower with its monumental buildings  and lavishly decorated halls housing many an art work.

We know as a family we are going to have to dress appropriately in order to enter the Vatican as it is a holy area and to enter the museums and the Basilica you must dress appropriately ~ covering shoulders, thighs ,necklines and midriffs. This means no shorts and no tank tops. long shorts and t ~ shirts are alright for men. Women will need to wear longer skirts /dresses ( or trousers ) and bring a shawl to cover their shoulders. All rucksacks and umbrellas will need to be checked as you enter the museums so on these days I won't pack the kitchen sink.

It's going to be a really special holiday as it's the last family holiday before the Teen goes to York university to study archaeology , he's lucky as he's rolling in  from his first parent free holiday to our family holiday ~ eek.

!

We are also planning on going to Pisa when we are in Rome , we will will be going by train as from what I've seen it is really cheap to do so. It will be refreshing to step outside of Rome for the day only to be lovingingly welcomed back into Romes embrace.

 

The Vatican I'm sure will culminate in a sensory overload and we will have to recover with refreshments but oh my what a fabulous assault on the senses and memories it will be. I'm all about making memories and living in the moment this is why I do love forward planning so it makes the holiday more straight forward , of course I'm always up for the unexpected too.

And here’s from the lovely Melissa some information about Rome she wish she’d known before travelling there and to know the dos and don’ts in travel is essential.

Additional Pet Security With Pet Tags

Pet security is foremost on my mind always , I remember a few years back when we went to Orlando Florida my neighbour rang and said they couldn't find Rollie our silver grey tabby cat at the time , obviously being several thousand miles away there wasn't a lot we could do !! Rollie was micro chipped but he's had the additional security of a pet tag on this collar.

 

Of course pet tags are not only for cats , they're for dogs as well and you can find a brilliant selection of pet tags online and the prices are really resonable as well.

A well engraved pet tag is essential with a pet so your details are clearly readable in the event that your pet goes missing from home. A cat or dog is not able to communicate for themselves and spending a little money on a tag is an ideal way to help them should the worse happen.

The Control of Dogs Order 1992 necessitates that any dog in a public place should wear a collar and pet id tag with details of the owner including  name and address of the owner engraved or written on it, or engraved on a pet tag. 

There are some really cool designs for both type of pet available.

         

 

This is a collaboration post .

The 90's nostalgia

The 90's are back in full swing in this household , thankfully Mr T is not I repeat not wearing his shell suit ( we really can be thankful of small mercies. )Myself and Mr T hail from that decade hell I was still at school in that decade and left school in 1991 , I was married in that decade had my son in that decade ( ps I was married to Mr T ) .There was many a faux pax of fashion in this decade and the hair oh my the hair , I think at one point I looked like the lovechild of Jon Bon Jovi.

 

The teen is spending many a long day studying raiding the fridge and shuffling back to his bedroom all in preparation for university life. We aren't even really experiencing ' Kevin the teenager ' either , we never really have ( not much ;-) . He's even used his mobile to check where his house keys were then subsequently found them whilst we were talking.

The teen is working his way through the entire seasons of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air  " which he thinks is absolutely hilarious , this is the series that was started when I was at school. My this is a complete retro shuffle ! , to think I was at school in this decade , got married in this decade and had my son is this decade is mind boggling.

The 90's were cool ,are cool and will forever BE cool I hope to high heaven if I am ever shuffled off to a nursing home they will be singing 80 and 90's songs. We are assembling a long long list of programmes that the teen needs to watch .

What's my top 90 's films to watch before anyone goes to University?

1. Lost Boys ( yes it's the 89's but still !) 

Teenage angst and vampires what more could you possibly want ?

2. Silence of the Lambs 

Beware of people beating a nice bottle of Chianti

3. The Shawshank Redemption


4. JFK

What 's not to love about the intrigue surrounding who was responsible for the death of JFK.

5. Aladdin

Everyone would very much love to have their own Genie to grant them wishes !

6 Matrix

7 Groundhog Day

8 Flatliners

Edge of your seat thriller drama !

9 Seven

The 7 deadly sins are actually that !!

10 Toy Story

Purely magical ..

In another blog post I'll talk more about some other films I loved in the 80's  and 90's but I can't leave here without mentioning the Crystal Maze especially as yesterday I found the retro vintage board game in a charity shop. I would have loved to be a contestant running run solving the puzzles although I suspect I would have been the one that was left locked up.

 

Puddle Watching Is a Rare And Noble Art

Sometimes life is just about looking and if you think that by just looking you're doing nothing then you're wrong . You actually being proactive honestly I promise you are , life is about time and how you choose to spend it can seriously impact upon you . I don't really really like a change in my routine but sometimes it's the better the devil you know . On my way home after work I decided to go straight down the lane instead of going right . Feeling a little like Alice in Wonderland in my choices ..

 

It had been raining cats and dogs so puddles of course were the prerequisite, I do love how a puddle brings out the depth of colour in the world in particular making the greens ever more lush.

I wasn't dressed really for puddle watching that day but instead opted for that rare and noble art of puddle watching. You can find stars , galaxies, planets and burning suns in a puddle there really is another world in them.