Fixing My Depression Short Circuit

I was thinking something of which I do rather a lot .

How boring the world would be if we were all  the same.

Monday was when I realised I wasn't quite over my depression, and that's really OK I'm not sure I'll ever really be over if I'm honest . Depression isn't really something you can wall paper over , we all react and recover in our own way.

Depression is simply put like an electrical circuit you don't know if and when you might short out.

What's the fix I hear you cry ? 

Mmmm the fix could be a bar of chocolate , a friendly word a phrase of a song In fact anything ! 

" brown paper packages tied up with string " 

Who knows ?!

It could be days before I short out again , months or indeed a year or years , after a momentous melt down last year I'm wary but I don't let it rule my life. I might shut down emotionally but it's my way of recovering so I don't go back to last year, every step I take away from last year is one more plus.

It's the old old adage of a swan calm on the surface but paddling like fury underneath , just because on whatever day I looked Ok, I wasn't really.

So I'm off to find my fix to my short circuit unless someone has eaten my fix ...

Till then I leave you with happy toast .

Keep Fighting Till The Fight Is Done

Sometimes I wonder who I am?

I see myself but sometimes it doesn't feel quite real.

How brave is it to bare your soul.


So I keep fighting till the fight is done.

What the fight is varies , it could be to motivate myself to do something as simple as vacuuming the house , or it could be to take myself off to a blog event. But as I am ever the rebel I make my own rules up as I go along and I pick myself constantly out of a hole , people don't always understand how mortified I can be when I talk being shy.

The little things are what makes me brave and see me through  , a cup of tea a walk home through the village with the sun breaking through by the church.

I blog .

Earlier I was tweeting my blog friends on Twitter who are at #Bligfest15 and I tweeted :

"My blog is a star in my hand I just need to let it shine "

Say this when you feel down blog wise 

#blogfest15

You can turn this phrase to anything !

I'm embracing difficult situations more .

Do you think you can ?

Keep fighting till the fight is done .

Wander Must

I am approaching a midlife crisis.

I think with a midlife crisis you are meant to buy a sports car or a motorcycle  or a scooter as my husband did years ago (that looked like a motorcycle ) his midlife crisis lasted a few years but he got rid of the scooter some time ago

So much so that I have a restless niggle to travel , I could quite happily roam the world with my wanderer lust spirit.

I don't drive , I haven't have much luck with that mode of transport , myself trying to learn to drive has included the car I was learning in being crashed into.

" I'm taking the car in to swap it for a new one "

You can guess what happened next can't you .....

Then on another lesson I clipped a kerb near a canal and I was made to help change the tyre , so ended my trying to learn to drive. I have other people to do it for I think of myself as

"Driving Miss Daisy "

So cycling is where I'm at and I have my Pashley it's not cheap it would buy 7 bicycles for people but a bicycle with a basket is what I desired . So I set my mind to this but I couldn't win one I really did try but to no avail, so I obtained one through my works cycle scheme , I don't earn enough to get the tax benefit from it. I am paying for it monthly through my wages and it's all mind , it has a sweetie shop bell to die for.

I can't swim so cycling is my salvation , I'd like a racer again like I did in my childhood but I'll pay for this first and then work on that idea. Today I cycled down the lane dinging my bell and I couldn't be happier , I can ding to my hearts content , whilst I am cycling all the troubles melt away and to be corny.

I count my blessings , as there as those who are less fortunate than I .

Cycling is a celebration of my being , of how far I have come and how far I will go .


I just want to have the privilege to ride my bicycle always .

A Cat Doesn't Do Politics

A cat doesn't do politics , a cat doesn't care who you are as long as you're kind , they can sense things cats. Cats don't have an agenda except to do what they darn well please. Humanity doesn't have a glass ceiling it really shouldn't , we should all be one sadly we're not. 

That doesn't stop me though , I'll do what I can to grease the wheels of humanity playing my part, I wish I could do more but what I do counts.

Compassion greases the clogs of humanity , it goes beyond sentiment ~ humanity makes us tick.

There are those who miss this tick of humanity.

I've selective hearing So I'm just listening for the tick of humanity.

Balancing On The Edge

What keeps me tipping form the edge ?

Friendship is what keeps me tipping from over the edge and I really couldn't do with the friendships I have to calm and steady me.

And my bicycle I love my bicycle it is my brand new shiny Pashley Sovereign Nad I love it it has given me a new lease of life, though I have yet to cycle it up the hill or down it I am a bit too nervous for that year. It is the weight of a baby elephant but I love it , you see it is the little snippets of joy that get me through the day.

It has taken me so long to relax down and even though I am still on high alert I am jolly well better than I was , still it can take me 2  to 3 hours of a morning not to feel angst.

Friendship is a need.