Monument Sunday

How My Worse Moment Became My Best

A guest post by the wonderful Moderate Mum

My son was a good baby. I know you’re not supposed to say that because all children are a gift and labels stick and yadda yadda yadda but seriously the kid was easy. He had his moments of course and he was never a fan of sleeping but during the day he was super chilled – he ate what he was offered and was happy to hang in a bouncy chair for an episode of Bake Off. He was a pretty low maintenance little dude. My friends told me, ‘It’s your parenting! It’s because you’re such a relaxed mum that he doesn’t give you much trouble.’ And fool that I am I started to believe them. So when one morning Roscoe woke up as a toddler, complete with an intense need to destroy; an alarming ability to ignore boundaries and an unwavering commitment to refusal, it hit me like a Red Bull laced espresso.

To add insult to injury Roscoe also gave up naps, I didn’t even get time to formulate my strategy. I spent twelve hours a day saying, ‘No, Roscoe’ I gave serious consideration to recording the phrase and having is playing on repeat, I could turn it off for the five minutes a day it wasn’t necessary. I couldn’t believe what my darling, placid baby had become. Gone were the long lunch dates, magazine reading in the park and in their place – endless negotiations, battles and meltdowns (on both sides).

For some reason his new hatred of nappy changing hit me hardest. Perhaps because there was no way to avoid it; perhaps because it was so obviously helping him; probably because no one likes being covered in poop. It was one of those changes that my worst moment came. He has the strength of ten inebriated man. Limbs were flying everywhere and his power move, the head butt, was being employed on a frequent basis. As I tried to restrain him, I could feel the tension rise through my body. A sharp pain pulsed on my right temple. My breathing had become ragged and shallow, ‘No, Roscoe, no,’ I said, ‘No Roscoe, no,’ I pleaded and finally, well and truly at the ends of my wit, ‘Roscoe, stop it or I will…’

I’ll never know what I was going to say next and that’s what scared me most. I did not know what I was capable of, I hadn’t lost control of my son, I had lost control of the parent I wanted to be. What was I threatening - I will smack? I will shout? I will abandon you? I suddenly realised I was expecting a one year old to be responsible for an atmosphere that it was my job to create, I had an opportunity to flip a switch and I was gonna take it…

‘Roscoe stop it or I will…tickle!’ I launched into the greatest tickle fest man has known and well, who can resist a tickle fest?  The tension was released, we both were calm and connected and had forgotten what we were angry about. I had turned my worst moment into one of our best.

Now I love when I feel that telltale tension in my shoulders or when my breathing starts to get shallow because they are helpful reminders that I need to stop, connect and find the joy. I don’t even have to think about it because my automatic response is a tickle fest and tickle therapy has proven to be a very restorative process. No matter what when my partner comes back after a long day and asks me how things have been, I can honestly say – we laughed all day.

Rollie How My Style Is Influenced By Archie The Furry Superstar From Gourmet

Sponsored by Gourmet



Shuffles papers.

Rollie loves the finer things in life.

"Time for a cat news report , ever wondered how I got to be as glamorous as I am now  ? well my style  and demeanour had to be influenced from some where and I can think of none better than Archie from Gourmet."

"The lifestyle of the famous isn’t as easy as it seem, take it from Gourmet’s adorable feline foodie, Archie. The furry superstar takes us behind the scene on his first ever You tube video to show us the ropes to acting. Check out his amusing tips!"

Read an exclusive interview and more articles on Guardian’s micro site here


"Although I declined to appear with Tom Cruise in the latest Mission Impossible film , the offers for other films are flooding in, I missed out on a whisker to the cat in the Harry Potter saga. I love chasing butterflies, French cinema, opera and the works of Shakespeare, my hobbies including styling leather chairs which no doubt will one day win the Turner prize. I do believe in doing things slowly why rush into anything , I bided my time to leave fluff on the stair carpet, my pet ( the human) calls this an annoyance . I call this accenting and very much on trend , I am at this very moment writing an ebook what good blogger/author doesn't hawk their wares this way , also I am in development of an social media app.

I must go now , it seems I must pack for a trip to the cat spa , I think the pet will try and brush me , I think not . Now what should I pack do you think ?"

Pets In Windows

A window sill is not a window sill unless there is a pet at it.

I have long since given up putting ornaments on my window sill which of course I ignored then we were into the whole dust guilt cycle. Now the window sill is purely a platform for my cat to survey the domain it holds in the power of its paws.

Of course when your an artist/ actor  you are prone to temperamental hissing fits , you place unreasonable demands on your staff. And you'll refuse to come out of your trailer till your demands are met. Adds tuna to my shopping list ~ big sigh. 

The lovely people over at Everest are having a competition which is all about pets at windows sills.

There of course is a hashtag  every hipster cat knows that!

#PetsInWindows

So why don't you pop over and enter. Everest will give £5 to the RSPCA (registered charity number 219099) for everyone that enters, up to a maximum of £5,000. You can enter online here  or using the hashtag #petsinwindows via twitter.

When Jack heard that Rollie was being a right royal diva he immediately left into action for the starring shots.

"Shoot me like one of your French models"

"I'm not ready!"

"You say you cleaned these windows ?"

I hope that you will enter and remember it can be any pet that enters , do take care ! especially if you place your tortoise on the window sill ( they are awfully speedy)

Disclosure ~ I am being compensated for this post , also I am having to buy Rollie tuna. Jack will be compensated with some chicken.

You can follow Everest Home Improvements on Twitter and Facebook to keep up to date on their latest deals and offers, and should also check out their top quality double glazing.

Cheesy Chicken With Pitta Croutons

It's the summer holidays big big hurrah , six glorious weeks of sunshine ( please excuse if it raining whilst you are reading this right now ) this dish is a quick one. It can be easily adapted to suit your tastes.

Ingredients 

4 chicken breasts

Grated Parmigiano Reggiano Dop

Method 

Heat the oven till 180 c 

Place the chicken in a suitable oven proof dish.

Sprinkle with the 

And cook for 30 minutes 

When the chicken is cooked , slice and leave to cool.

Add caption

Pitta bread croutons 

Ingredients 

4 pitta breads split and shaped into triangles.

6 tablespoons of olive oil

1 1/2 teaspoons of paprika ( I prefer sweet)

1 teaspoon of cumin

A twist of the salt mill

A splash of sherry vinegar or white wine vinegar

Method 

Preheat the oven to 180 c 

Brush the dressing onto the pitta triangles. 

Next place on to a oven proof baking tray .

Bake in the oven for no more than 5 minutes.

Disclosure

I developed this recipe myself as I was a hungry . I got the cheese free as part of the Orchard scheme through Tesco.