The Frogs Legs Have it

Bus journeys are the microcosm of the human race.

Honestly it is like a really , really bad version of Miss Marple and we are all just sitting there patiently waiting to be questioned .

You get all sorts in there and the 20 or so minute journey there is like the cannonball run, only without the manly moustache of Burt Reynolds.

The passengers were numerous but those who stood out were the cook , the thief and the lover.

You have the alleged thief who had been arrested numerous times and looked as if  he was about to appear on Jeremy Kyle. We were informed very loudly of his past woes via his mobile phone conversation.

The lover the young girl fixing her make up probably about to meet her beau.

And then there was the cook.

"I used to cook frogs"

"I used to get them from the canal"

 A lady chirps "but aren't they bony ?"

" Aye but you just spits the bones out ,around 20 frogs will do you "

" Oh. " said the lady.

"But a good sauce is essential "

That's a dish I'm yet to see on master chef.

Life's never dull round here.

Dark Secrets Cycling Within My Soul.

I have been habouring a deep dark secret for years a self imploding canker of disparity.

It feel as if since childhood I have been mocked.

And it is embarrassing.

My mother was able to achieve this , my husband but not me.

I failed my cycling proficiency test !!

Now I can't drive either but I am the most helpful passenger out , I failed my driving test counts and then has a sudden attack of amnesia. My driving lessons didn't go that well either I remember one lesson .

"I am taking this car to swap it for a new one tommorow it has never had a scratch on it "

Crunch , squeal , rattle , pop.

As a car takes the front off the the now no so perfect learner car I was in.

( it wasn't my fault )

"Oooh I said "

"*****" said the instructor.

Everyone was ok.

But I suspected the transport gods were against me rolling their dice and gambling with my sanity, I tried again and this time when travelling down a windy , tiny pretty lane one of the wheel hit the kerb.

Pop , hiss .

Stop.

Get out the car and stare at a flat.

Then I had to change the flat.

So in conclusion I never learnt to drive but I can change a flat tyre!

So it's not the failure of my driving tests and lessons that sits deep in my soul, it's the fact I never passed my cycling proficiency.

What Olympic dreams could have been mine for the want of a badge.

Awwh sigh .

I don't suppose I can take my cycling profiency age 41 ?

Afternoons Are Made For

Afternoons are made for appreciating your surroundings , I live in what was once a village but it's now got bigger. It is very much surburbia on the heels of the countryside it is stunning you just need to open your eyes. You've probably seen similar pictures before but in my mines eye they are different the season, the light the mood everything ! I'm never going to be able to get that particular again in my life. The picture below was taken on my walk home from my school where I work and I love this particular route I take.

Even though it is a little bit wet , well very wet I still see blue , a neighbouring village has flooded the fields and it looks very surreal. We've not been affected like other poor people but still fences are coming down and livestock is moved to higher ground.

Walking back from my school I spot blue again this time it's the barn door.

I feel blue but not in the sense of being down , I feel blue and it reminds me of Spring it's a hope it's a promise on the wind.

Le Chat It's The Cats Whiskers.

"Le Chat"

"Everything sounds such much more sexy in French, my human bean shouting cat just doesn't have the same ring about it .

I mean would it be So hard to announce Le Poussin is served ?

At the moment I'm feeling relaxed .

I relax on the bed .....

I relax at the top of the stairs, seems the human beantripped over me the other dayand I think they shouted "Zut Alor" so paws up fur that one <<<< see what I did there.

But it seems sitting on the human bean while they are watching the 'Muskabeards' is a no no or as I would like to say a non non.

Further more it seems sitting on the stairs through the banisters whilst recreating the barricade scene Les Miserables gets noticed ....

 

My name is Jack and I've been clean from catnip for trois weeks."

Machiavellian Morello Cherry Loaf

Ingredients

50g mixed fruit soaked in Brandy etc (if you want)

2 cups of self raising flour 

1 teaspoon baking powder.

50 g soft brown sugar

350 g Morello Cherries

I can of condensed milk or a pot of plain yogurt .

Method 

Preheat oven to 180c

You can soak the fruit overnight mine had been soaking from earlier that day from when I made Eccles  cakes , I know I'm a busy bee!

Mix the fruit with 2 cups of flour and baking powder.

Next add the sugar, cherries and condensed milk .

Stir with conviction.

Put the mixture into a 2lb loaf tin which is lightly greased .

Cook for 65-70 minutes or until a  skewer comes out clean.