Now, if you're a mother of a small male person, you may have
had the sudden "Oh. Ohhhh." epiphany I did when my son was a couple
of months old.
All the things you may or may not have berated your men folk
for, now stands for nothing. The exasperated "Have you lost
something down there, love?" while they're happily fondling away at
themselves absent-mindedly.
Watching a baby having a good old rummage there and
finding the erm... treasure, the glint in his eye, the slack-jawed glee,
and from then on, the obsession begins and apparently, never ends.
The realisation that men are powerless to their winkies. And
no matter how many times we raise our eyebrows, tut disapprovingly and chastise
them, means they'll simply do it when our backs are turned.
I've been noticing a change in the waters, an altering of
some stars alignment perhaps, I dunno. There seems to have been some sort of
seismic shift and men don't appear to be very much liked at the moment. Even
before everyone with a pair of breasts read that book by Caitlin Moran,
the word "feminism" was being bandied about like bad jokes regarding
horse meat being discovered in some beef burgers.
As much as I may jest about men bowing to the kings that are
their penises, I like men. I do. Love 'em. One particular male an awful lot
more than rest, but you know what I mean. I also dig feminism, it floats my
boat. However, I can't fathom how one should cancel out the other. As far as I
can tell in this situation, I can have my cake and eat it. Bonus.
Because you like men, shouldn't mean you don't like
women, and vice versa. Feminism means all women's rights to be equal to
those of men. Not "oh ladies, you've had a time of it, ain't ya? Here,
I'll stick a couple more points in your favour. Bastard blokes, with their
superiority and dangly bits."
Equal. The same. Share the love, y'know in a nice
way, not the sleazy sort.
Yes, the glass ceiling exists, of course it does, I'm not
completely deranged. All the tit for tat (geddit?), "She only got the job
cos she's a bird." and "Sexist bastards, I didn't get it. Because I'm
a woman."
So why is it, on television especially, that if a man makes
a threat towards a woman, serious or not, he's a bastard, he needs to be locked
up and never be allowed to see his kids again. A woman makes a threat towards a
dude, and it's apparently, funny?
Why is it that it's cool for a woman to say, "I hope
I'll beat all the men." *cough* MASTERCHEF, but if we did a little
switcheroo, the man saying the same about beating all the women he was
competing against, would be hated?
Why is it that a man can be thrown out of a nightclub / bar
/ pub / wherever for being drunk and a bit of an idiot, and no cares. If it's a
woman, "OMFG, you can't DO this, I'm a WOMAN! I have KIDS."
Yes, before you start lynching me and getting all up in my
face for my massive sweeping generalisations, what I'm trying to get at,
is, some men are pillocks and some are nice, some women are idiots, and
some are lovely. Because they're people, innit.
If you're all for feminism, meninism, or whateverinism (try
pronouncing that sucker), supporting
something that is actually very good and positive, doesn't mean anything that
doesn't fit in that bracket is negative and wrong.
*watches DaddyNeverSleeps scratch his nethers*
Actually, on second thoughts
