Gentleman prefer Blonds

Its been a laugh a minute this week in the Toplis household .... ( I can see you are already sniggering  ... tsk ) So this week in the Toplis household whilst my surname is hilarity enough when dealing with call centres. I know my name sounds like I am a playboy bunny sadly I am lacking the vital statistics.

"Your Surname please"

"Toplis" ... just waiting for the usual ..


"How are you spelling that ?"

"T........O.....P........L.......I.........S


"I thought it was going to be TOPLESS"

Stony silence .. I have heard this joke a squillion times.


"So how can I help you then"


And then there is the child ... yes the darling little bundle of fluff that in typical teen fashion can fathom the ability to put his shoes in the rack. Put his dirty clothes in the basket , hang his dressing gown up .. I really , really could go on all day.

And yet he is on the Gifted and Talented list at school and has a high IQ .... so this week his funnees have been.


"Have you ever dyed your hair blond?"



I squirm I have visions because he is at senior school that it will be something rude  *whispers you know collars and cuffs* Thankfully it wasn't ...

"No I haven't " I replied.

"Well you certainly act like it" he said quite seriously ...

Oh .. oh how I laughed....

And he other chestnut was whilst preparing tea he asked for a drink to which I replied I will get it in a minute.. And you know what it wasn't even a mummy minute which doesn't understand the laws of space and time. However I took my tea through and J said..

"Where's my drink??"

I said "I am just going back to get it..." resisting the temptation to say I only have one pair of hands..

To which he said " I thought women could multitask ...." ... sharp intake of breath.... Count to 10 ... go do a Sudoko puzzle ... discover the meaning of life and calm.

He got his drink .... I didn't pour it on his head temptation was there.

He isn't a rude boy he is just ...... a boy ... a teen .. a geek bit like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... one of those mad academic types. So any future girlfriend don't expect flowers....

Holding out for a Hero Ultimate egg cup!

Christmas is nearly upon us didn't you know ! And whilst you may be groaning at the thought of buying expensive presents what about  egg cup at only £4.00 for a pair its hardly going to break the bank and the money goes to a good cause. If anyone knows me and is reading this I am seriously lacking egg cups...hint hint !

Line up your soldiers, and get your spoons ready! Eggs for Soldiers unveil the ultimate egg cup.

Earlier on this year, 9 year old, Isabella Paxton from Wiltshire wowed Eggs for Soldiers’ judges with her entry into their national drawing competition. Isabella’s drawing was handpicked out of a pool of over 1,500 entries; her ‘eggcellent’ picture was so eye catching the judges couldn’t resist it.   Eggs for Soldiers were so impressed; they have used her design to create a line of limited edition egg cups available to buy from the Help for Heroes website in November.

Isabella attends St Barnabas C of E Primary School in Devizes, Wiltshire, her creative drawing was handpicked from a pool of 1,500 entries; bright yellow and green the design features a “super funny” saluting chicken in an army uniform.

9 year old Isabella has made a fantastic contribution and now is your chance to get involved. Make a difference this Christmas and get your hands on a limited edition egg cup. All money raised will go toward Help for Heroes who play a part in delivering much needed support to members of the armed forces who have been injured.

RRP £4.00 for a pair of egg cup. For more information and to purchase visit www.helpforheroes.org.uk

Disclosure ( I have not been paid for this post I am merely helping out a good cause)

Food Glorious Food #wwback2best

"Food Glorious Food " I expect at this point you are now breaking into song, food indeed is a glorious thing it can be an assault on your senses and at the very same time it had hold you prisoner. Whilst no one is obviously holding you actually prisoner and physically forcing a chocolate bar down your throat.
Food on occasion can be a vicious cycle and for that vicious cycle is cheese , yes I hereby admit I break into a Wallace and Gromit sweat at the throat of cheese.

Cheese it has to be grated on sandwiches for me or sliced separately and accompanied on buttered bread. I have a certain cheese fear .. don't ask  I have had it all my life. At the moment I have weaned myself of cheese whilst I know you have to have calcium I am getting my daily intake through yogurt.

Dieting to be honest for me can be a vicious cycle you do need to have rewards in your life and this I have by perhaps having one chocolate bar a week. A very long time ago I did lose a lot of weight and I am sure I will again but as you get older it becomes harder and working in a school the cakes are constantly in your face. Well not actually in your face that would just be just plain greedy!

 I am pleased to be part of a The Britmums and weight watchers program I have struggled and not being able to go to meeting as part of this scheme and meet physical people who  are in the same boat. Its not a case of being spoon fed the information but I think I would of benefited by attending the meetings.

Having said that I have  actually got batteries in my scales but at same time I don't want be a slave to them. I have picked up some excellent tips from the Weight Watchers website and cook books and I do believe that dieting is a complex business. But given the right tools it is something that can be dymistified and I am slowly getting there with the help of Weight Watchers.

Familiarity doesn't breed contempt!

In the world of an autistic child/ SEN child  familiarity doesn't breed contempt it provides security, safety and happiness. If their routine is broken it can set them back to such a point it can takes months to recover.

Familiarity  produces :

1. Routine.

2. Security.

3. Happiness.

4. Social Interaction ( This is very much down to the level of autism or Special need)

5. Communication.

There are probably more that you could add to this list. For an example if an autistic child doesn't usually play with other children just giving them a ball to play with will soon have them interacting with other children. It might not be conversation that is perhaps normally associated with ball games but the interaction may well include the autistic child rolling the ball to another child and them rolling it back.

Also if the autistic child seeks to play with the ball ask them:


"What do you want to play with ?"

And in my case they answer "Green ball please"

Play is a great leveller and its humbling when all children come together regardless of Special needs or disability.

Life in a hashtag ! #

Don't you find that we all live our lives at a fast pace ? Social media can take a hold of you and make you its prisoner this can either be becuase :

1. You are surfing the net and things keep catching you catching your interest.

2. You are on twitter.

3. You are on Facebook.

4. You are on Pininterst .

I am not going to delved into social media time management today but I do find through no fault of my own I do sometimes live my life in a hash tag within twitter and while there are some brilliant and very kind people on twitter, it is very nice to switch off sometimes. Think of it like this when I close my fridge I do wonder what happens when the light goes off.

But you can leave a conversation you won't find reports on your television because someone forgot to eat because they were hanging on your every word. In the words of "Why don't you switch 0ff your TV and go and do something less boring instead "

And for all of those you not born in the 1970's or earlier sorry ...

But switching off and not living your life in a hash tag ( twitter) allows you to turn into the world and see this: